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Writer's pictureAustin James

Fighting Jealousy

Jealousy often acts as a mirror, reflecting our deepest insecurities and unfulfilled desires. At its core, jealousy arises from a sense of "lack"—a feeling that someone else possesses something we wish were ours. Spiritually, jealousy can be used to uplift the physical. For instance, to be jealous of the wisdom of the sages and thus propelling you to learn more wisdom - causing your physical being to be more involved in mitzvot. However, when jealousy is used in the material, it drags your spirit down with it.


The ancient saying, "Who is wealthy? He who is happy with what he has," encapsulates a profound truth about human satisfaction. True wealth, according to this perspective, isn't measured by the accumulation of goods or accolades but by a deep-seated contentment with what we have been granted. This mindset doesn't come naturally to many; it's a conscious, cultivated response to the human condition's inherent desires and longings.


As an example, if a man has everything he could ever want and also he has a dollar in his pocket, would you consider him rich or poor? If a man can't afford anything he wants, nothing he desires is affordable to him, but he has a million dollars in his pocket. Is he rich or poor? The only difference is contentment.


The Source of Contentment

A key component of understanding contentment requires a belief in the divine providence of G-d, who is all-knowing and benevolent. If we truly accept that G-d knows everything and only desires what is best for us, then it follows that what we have been given is exactly what we need at this moment. This doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for improvement or growth, but it does mean recognizing that our current state, including our limitations and challenges, is part of a larger, divine plan tailored specifically for us. Where you are is exactly where you need to be. And right now is the catalyst for improvement.


Practice & Reframing Mindset

Cultivating happiness with what we have begins with the practice of gratitude. Focusing on our blessings rather than on what we perceive to be missing shifts our perspective from one of scarcity to one of abundance. Every individual has unique talents, circumstances, and opportunities. By acknowledging and appreciating these gifts, we can mitigate feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. The more you practice thinking about all your blessings, the more common and easier it is to remember all your blessings and your world becomes brighter. The more you practice thinking about and complaining about what you do not have, the more darkness infects the mind, and it becomes easy and natural to only think about what you don't have. When you practice letting light in, it's easy to see more blessings. But when you practice letting the darkness in, it becomes very difficult to see blessings and much easier to think someone stole everything from you. Oftentimes, those in the darkness will trip over a blessing they can't see and say, "This was in my way! If only I had a maid, like my neighbor does, to clean this up for me!"


The path to contentment also involves a critical examination of our desires. Are they driven by genuine needs and aspirations, or are they influenced by societal pressures and comparisons? Often, our jealousy stems not from a lack within ourselves but from external standards of success and achievement. By reframing our desires to align with our true values and priorities, we can free ourselves from the endless cycle of comparison and dissatisfaction.


Jealousy, at its heart, is a signal—a reminder of what we value and what we feel we lack. It exposes something we need to work on, and we can tackle it head-on and improve ourselves. Jealousy can show itself in many ways, and we won't know we have something to improve if it never shows itself. By cultivating contentment and gratitude, reframing our desires, and deepening our faith, we can transform jealousy from a source of pain to a catalyst for personal and spiritual growth. The journey from envy to contentment is challenging, requiring introspection, effort, and faith. Yet, as our Sages teach, the reward is a life of true wealth, measured not by what we acquire but by the depth of our satisfaction and the richness of our inner lives.

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